Slutshaming Another Girl Only Makes It More Okay For Men To Slutshame You & Other Dilemmas

     Women are caught in the greatest pickle of all time. Either we are insecure, timid, body conscious creatures living a life of self-doubt and shame. OR we are confident, self-assured and assertive queens living a life of being shamed by others and being told we’re vain. Why is there no in-between?? Why can’t women be confident, powerful, assertive babes without being shamed for it? Why can’t we post a selfie when we’re #feelingmyself without getting comments like “attention whore” or “that’s slutty” or “she’s so conceited” ?? I mean really - there are far worse problems in our world than women who are confident enough to post a photo of themselves! And as much as I would love to go on a rant about misogyny and how men have created this great pickle we’re in (that’s for another time), women haven’t helped the situation either, in fact it seems that most women only perpetuate the problem further! Have you ever gone down a thread of comments below some girl's photo? So much of the hate on it comes from women. How can we expect men to respect us and stop saying such terrible things if we don’t stop saying them to each other first? 

     Ladies. We have got to stop putting each other down. Stop shit-talking the girl at the bar in the crop top. Stop bashing the girl who posts a selfie a day. Stop hating on the girls who are as confident as you wish you could be yourself. When we put each other down we’re usually speaking out of envy. But what if instead of hating on the girl we want to become and putting her down to make ourselves feel better, what if we ask for her advice instead? What if we tell her the truth: that she looks/says/does exactly what we want and that we want to be like her. Seriously, what harm does that do? Not only are you going to make her day and give her an amazing confidence boost, but you’ll feel better about yourself too! For some reason, women have this subconscious idea that if another woman is pretty that means they can’t be pretty too, so they automatically dislike her for it. But there are unlimited beautiful women in this world! We shouldn’t be intimidated by each other, rather we should support one another and work together in continuing to grow our self-esteem and body positivity!

     That’s why weightlifting quickly became my favorite sport; women who lift don’t put each other down nearly as often as other women (at least in my experience). If there’s a girl in the weight room who lifts heavier or looks better or knows more than you, most lifting ladies will just walk up and start talking to her! We don’t talk shit about her across the gym, we ask for her advice. We ask what exercises she does to get her great arms so we can get them too, we ask what nutrition theory she follows, we ask where she got her shirt because it looks so cute on her! We’re not afraid to give compliments because telling someone they look/are amazing doesn’t make you any less. In fact, spreading that kind of positivity and good vibes out into the world will only make you happier and bring that positivity right back to you. So, please. Let’s all vow to start spreading a little more positivity in this world. Let’s vow to stop perpetuating this negative, self-hatred, shameful pickle and solve this problem together, one confident selfie at a time.

by: Danielle Longo

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